Following in a Parent’s Boots

February 26, 2010 2 comments »

Off the top of my head, I can count more than 10 of my good friends who are currently in the Army, ROTC, or at West Point who have parents in or retired from the US Army. If I start thinking about friend’s older brothers and sisters, my parents’ friends kids, friends of friends, old neighbors, and such - the number is dizzying. And I’m sure I’ve forgotten more than a few.

What are the reasons for so many legacies of service? I’m sure it’s a variety of things - money for college, a way to give back, to carry on a legacy, to serve the United States. But it interests me regardless, I am not one of the people that decided to serve by joining the Army. No particular reason, I consider it one of the most amazing things a person can do. But there are days where it feels like I have already served and sacrificed for my country. And maybe it’s selfish to feel that way, I don’t know. I hope not.

I just know that as my friends put on their uniforms and combat boots, they are stepping forward to take the places of their parents - many of whom are some of the greatest military minds this country has seen since WWII. They have big boots to fill.

I think they’ll be fine.

Good luck to all who choose to follow in their parents’ combat boots or simply choose to serve.

Until next time,

Katie

Halfway Home

February 19, 2010 1 comment »

This weekend I will be attending an event in North Carolina called Halfway Home Hockey. One of the brigades has gotten together, gotten military aprpeciation priced tickets to the local hockey team, and are going to a game. To celebrate what, you might ask?

They’re halfway home - halfway through this deployment, halfway until mom or dad comes home, halfway until the constant worry lessens, halfway until their family is whole again. So, they’re celebrating with food, raffles, games, and a hockey game in their town. They deserve it!

It’ll be a kind of celebration for me too. Not just of my fellow military family members being halfway to getting their loved one home, but less than halfway until my loved one is home. My dad should be returning in 2 months. These kinds of things are cause for celebration within the military community! We need a little help to keep up the hard work, to remind us why we’re waiting, and to remember that the end is near.

Congratulations, you’re halfway home!

 

Until next time,

Katie

If I Had One (Million) Wish(es)

February 3, 2010 2 comments »

I think I would need to wish for more wishes to start. Often, when I’m frustrated or sad or angry I wish for things to be different.

I wish my dad didn’t have to go away.

I wish I didn’t move so much.

I wish I didn’t move at all.

I wish I had a home town.

I wish no military kids lost a parent to war.

I wish there weren’t so many new headstones in Arlington.

I wish away the days where it hurts to breathe.

I wish my sister knew what it was like to be a normal Army brat.

I wish my whole family was normal.

I wish everything was just a little bit easier.

On bad days, I just wish and wish and wish until suddenly there’s nothing left to wish for. I can’t think of anything else in my life I’d want to change. And then I think about myself and all the things I like about myself.

I’m incredibly proud of my country.

I’m incredibly proud of our military.

I’m incredibly proud of my dad for being in our military.

I’m amazed by all the things I have seen and the people I have met.

I’m thankful for my adaptability.

I’m thankful for being so aware of the opportunities being American presents me.

I’m thankful that my life has taught me that no one’s life is easy.

I’m thankful that I have learned to get through anything.

So, usually by the time I’m done with wishing and thinking I feel better. I realize life’s not so bad and will always get better. One day at a time. Do I still wish things could be a little bit easier? Always…but who doesn’t?

What do you wish for?

Until next time,

Katie

Interview about Deployment with MKB Founder!

January 29, 2010 4 comments »
Study, Adolescents Handle Deployment Of Military Parents
WASHINGTON (CNN) — Adolescent children of frequently deployed soldiers are less stressed than conventional wisdom might indicate, according to a recent study.

Reporter: CNN Laurie Ure

WASHINGTON (CNN) — Adolescent children of frequently deployed soldiers are less stressed than conventional wisdom might indicate, according to a recent study.

Researchers at the Army War College’s Strategic Studies Institute found that although these teens generally experience higher stress levels than their non-military counterparts, they have better coping skills than the authors expected.

“The adolescents are a lot more sophisticated than we think they are,” said Leonard Wong, Army War College research professor and one of the study’s authors.

The study’s results were released Thursday.

Wong and co-author Stephen Gerras, both retired Army officers, said two factors in particular contribute to reducing the stress level of a child whose parent is deployed: a strong family and high participation in activities, especially sports.

The researchers, who say they are given academic freedom by the War College, found that Army adolescents cope better if they believe that America supports the war, and if they think that their deployed parents are doing something good for the country.

The 2009 study surveyed 559 Army adolescents, 56 percent of whom said they coped “well” or “very well” with deployments. Seventeen percent said they were coping “poorly” or “very poorly,” according to the report.

The survey findings indicated that the teens coped better with each deployment, according to Wong and Gerras, who later personally interviewed over a hundred military teens to gain more context.

“They’ve learned that Dad’s coming back. It’s not something that they want, but they understand,” said Gerras, who is a professor of behavioral sciences at the Army War College.

Katie Glenn, a college senior, told CNN she and her two younger sisters have each endured their father’s multiple deployments differently.

“My dad did not deploy until I was 14,” she said, so she was able to spend a lot of time with him during her pre-teens.

Her middle sister is in high school, and “remembers Dad coaching soccer and going to her dance recitals,” Glenn said. “But he missed her homecoming (and) probably won’t be there for her prom, she said.

Glenn’s youngest sister is a “post-9/11 military child,” she said, and will probably live the “military lifestyle” of “moving every two years her entire life.”

But, she adds, “We’re all proud of what he does, and we know what’s being asked of us.”

The Army War College results appear to clash with last December’s Rand Corporation study published in the American Journal of Pediatrics that suggested children of deployed service members face emotional and behavioral challenges.

But the Army War College authors insist the two studies are more similar than different, in that both reveal that military teens are more stressed than their “civilian” counterparts.

Rand “found that the length of parental deployment and the mental health of the nondeployed caregiver were significantly associated with the number of challenges experienced by children (as observed by the caregiver) during deployments,” Wong and Gerras write in their report.

“We looked more specifically at factors that influenced the stress,” said Wong, reiterating that their information came largely from the adolescents themselves, not their parents.

The authors of the Rand study did not immediately reply to a CNN request for comment.

Other behavioral experts said they were not surprised by either study’s findings.

“We’ve seen this before. If the parent does well, the kid does well, but if the parent doesn’t, the child doesn’t,” said Dennis Embry, president and CEO of Paxis Institute in Tucson, Arizona.

Embry’s concern is the time-testing effect. “What worries me is, with the economic crisis, the caregiving parents in lower-income military families are going to be more vulnerable now. Charitable contributions are down. That’s beginning to pervade the psyche of the caregiving spouses, and they become more stressed. The kids become more stressed,” he said.

Michelle Kelley, a psychology professor at Old Dominion University in Norfolk, Virginia, said the concept that multiple deployments actually help military children is a “tough and age-old question.”

“The Rand report seems to indicate ‘no.’ The Wong and Gerras study seems to indicate that up to three deployments is associated with lower stress, so maybe these youth do learn to cope,” she said in an e-mail to CNN.

During Wednesday night’s State of the Union speech, President Obama said that he was giving his “full support” to service members.

“And that is why Michelle Obama has joined with Jill Biden to forge a national commitment to support military families,” he said.

Read the article here!

 

Until next time,

Katie

Needing an Extra, Extra Hand

January 27, 2010 1 comment »

So, there’s this pretty cool thing happening on Capitol Hill right now.  I don’t know how many readers are aware of this, but this year was declared by Congress at “The Year of the Military Family.” So, quite a few Members of the House of Representatives got together and formed the Congressional Military Family Caucus.  It’s been starting to gather steam, holding hearings and figuring out what legislation is important to work on for the families of our nation’s heroes.

Well, today I was fortunate enough to attend one of their first major hearings about Special Needs Military Kids and their Families. According to the Marine Commandant’s wife, 1 in 88 Marine kids has autism. That’s a lot of kids! Yet, it’s very hard for military families to help their kids get all their benefits. TRICARE will help with a lot, but sometimes there is no specialist who accepts TRICARE insurance in the area. Other families struggle to get education and medical benefits to transfer from state to state. Respite care is hard to come by so that a mom can do her grocery shopping or get her hair cut without worrying about who is carrying for her severe special needs kids. The Marines have been doing a wonderful job re-vamping their Exceptional Family Member Program (EFMP) - working to ensure families have respite care, that there are lawyers ready to help them (just them) when they need it, and navigating the tricky ins and outs of TRICARE and EFMP. There’s still a lot to be a done - an Army colonel with 28 years of service has a son with autism who is no longer eligible for his ABA Therapy once his dad retires.Someone should ask why that is.

Every military family can use a helping hand from time to time - if you know the next door neighbor is deployed, offer to mow the grass. But these families are carrying the typical load of a military family in addition to making sure their special needs child gets the best possible care available to them - but it’s incredibly difficult for them to figure out how.

If you think of a way to help them, please leave a comment below!

Until next time,

Katie - proud Army brat & former EFMP member

Kids Outreach, Program Manager

Families United

Stories in Music

January 20, 2010 5 comments »

Has anyone heard the Chuck Wicks’ song “Man of the House?”

It’s about a little boy, age 10, who picks up the slack while his Dad is deployed. It explains that even though he’s only 10 and should be riding his bike and playing catch, he has other things to do. His Dad designated him the man of the house and so he makes coffee, gets his little sister on the bus, and more to help out his Mom.

It’s a familiar story to most military kids these days. When I was 14, my Dad deployed to Afghanistan. I often stayed up helping Mom organize FRG folders, or would attempt to make pasta for dinner on nights she was at meetings. I made sure my youngest sister got in the bath, that the dog got fed, that everyone’s homework was done every night. It was tiring and sad, because as a freshman in high school I wanted to go to slumber parties and out to the movies with my friends. But I had responsibilities and my Mom needed me, my sisters needed me, and my Dad was counting on me from over 5000 miles and 12 hours away. (We lived in Alaska).

Being in college, my middle sister is now in charge of those tasks. So, between being president of everything at her high school, managing various sports teams, babysitting, and going out with friends she also takes my youngest sister to birthday parties, school, tutoring sessions, feeds the dogs, does the dishes and anything else she can help with.

It’s hard for my mom to essentially function as a single parent, as it is for most spouses left behind. Waiting is possibly the hardest part of the deployments and life continues to go on. Without fail, when my Dad is gone someone hurts themselves, or there’s a disaster, or something falls apart. Two weeks after Dad deployed my youngest sister fell out of a tree and fractured her wrist, this summer our basement flooded with 10 inches of sewer water and we had to move. My Dad came home for Christmas, 2 days after he left I sliced my eye open.

So, the children of deployed families, like the Chuck Wicks’ song, pick up the slack and help as much as possible. There’s a need and they do their very best to fill it.

Sometimes though, I wonder if we missed out because we didn’t get to play as much catch or ride our bikes as often?

Happy 2010!

January 12, 2010 No comments »

Hello all! I hope you had a wonderful holiday season and a very happy new year!

My dad came home over Christmas/New Year’s for his R&R so my family’s holiday season was great! What did we do, you ask? Skiing, take a cruise, visit out-of-state family? Well….no, we didn’t do any of that. We actually stayed home. I’m sure you’re thinking that sounds boring, but boring is nice. Just staying home and being “normal” for once. No family came to visit, no friends, there were no emergency phone calls from the office. Just my parents, my sisters, and me. And our dog too, of course.

We moved houses over the summer, while dad was gone. So, he spent his time rearranging his bookshelves, organizing the basement and hanging all the pictures, mirrors, etc on the walls of the house. He threw a ball with our dog every day. And dealt with a broken washer, a mild basement flood, Christmas shopping, and cars for the two weeks he was home. It was as if he’d never left. We watched movies every day - whether we ordered them ON Demand or went to the theater. We ate out and ordered in. And each member of the family did something one on one with him.

It was fun and blessedly normal. Hopefully, the next 3 months fly by.

Toys for Tots!

December 8, 2009 4 comments »

We got up early on Sunday and went to Toys R Us. I picked out a toy to give away to Toys for Tots. I picked a Glow Dome.  It was a coloring glow dome. It could go to a boy or a girl who likes to draw. Then Mom and I picked out two games. Connect 4 x 4 and an Uno game to donate to Toys for Tots. Toys for Tots gives toys to needy kids. The toys were paid for by Families United.  We got to meet Brynn, Caroline, Brian and Rob. I got doughnuts and a little cup of coffee!  I also got a goodie bag with a stress star, key chain, Frisbee and t-shirt, backpack bag and a blanket!  I got a whole lot of pictures taken of me.  I talked to the newspaper lady. I got to see football players (Carolina Cougars). I got a signed football. I met the General and the General’s wife, Miss Melissa. LTG Helmick was Dad’s old boss in Iraq. When I got there, I had to sign in. I got a name tag on a lanyard. And I got a flag. Today, I wore my shirt to school and brought all my stuff in to show my friends. Plus, I was in the newspaper.

- Elizabeth, 8

Our Family Serves in More Ways than One

December 1, 2009 4 comments »

This Sunday, December 6, Families United For Our Troops and Their Mission is teaming up with Toys for Tots, Toys R Us, and Dunkin’ Donuts to provide the military kids of Fort Bragg the opportunity to give to those less fortunate this holiday season. Military children see the value of their parent’s service, but are sometimes unable to give themselves. This event is to show them what it means to give to another child and how much their service is appreciated. It is also an opportunity to get our deployed families together for a fun morning full of Holiday spirit!

For their participation, each child will receive a little goodie bag from Families United and the toys selected are purchased by Families United at no cost to the families. Every toy selected will be donated to Toys for Tots for the Fayetteville area.

If you a military family stationed at Fort Bragg and you would like to participate, it is not too late to sign up! There are still a number of slots available, but they are filling up fast. Please call Brynn at (202) 293-4656 or email your children’s names and ages to brynn@familiesunitedmission.com by this Friday, December 4, to reserve your spot.

To donate to this event please visit https://secure.acceptiva.com/?cst=6f765e

Best of Friends

November 19, 2009 1 comment »

Army friends are, in my opinion, different from any other friends in the world. People always say you never stay best friends with the people you knew in high school – these are the people who have never moved in their lives. But, one of my very best friends has been my friend since 8th grade. She was there for me as I worked my way through the depression of a sibling’s death; she was there through my dad’s first deployment; she has helped me babysit younger sisters; she has been there during each moment of bruised and broken hearts. When I had a medical condition that required daily injections, she gave them to me when we went on camping trips. No matter what, I knew I was able to count on her.

Now, we’re well in to college, we’ve both been dating the same boys for two years, and more often than not it will be months if not years in between sightings of one another. I often go months without calling, texting, or even emailing her. But I know that if my heart is breaking, I can call her. Forget the fact that it is 11AM my time and 7AM her time, she’ll answer the phone and not be the slightest bit angry with me. And when those rare phone calls and visits occur, you would expect awkwardness but there is none to be found. Phone calls last hours and visits require an exchange of embarrassing stories from when we were fourteen. It’s as if we were apart no more than a moment.

I like to believe that she knows she can count on me as well – I was there during adolescent crushes, devastating fights with friends, her parents’ divorce, and more. If she needs me, I’m there as much as I can be…even if it is nothing more than a text that says “I love you.” Because I do; she’s like another sister to me and maybe there are tons of non-military children who feel the same way about their friends. But I believe there is something about being military brats that will bind us together even longer than most friendships. We’ve experienced a life that most people cannot comprehend and throughout it all our friendship has persevered. I talked to Stephanie just 5 days ago, for the first time in about three months. It was supposed to be a 15 minute phone call that lasted much longer and ended with “tell your family hi for me.” Because my family is her family and her family is mine.

Katie

Kids Outreach, Program Manager

Families United